"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
