shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
