She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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