No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
