I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
