someone get that fucking seahorse.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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