i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
