You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
