i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
