shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Randomize
