I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
