is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
