Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
