Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
