JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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