people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
