ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
