dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
