my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
