did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
