How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
