I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
