i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
