Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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