I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
