it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
