haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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