i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
