And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He passed out mid-signature
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
