i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
