my sisters under your porch take her home
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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