dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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