He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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