Grow some girl-balls and come out already
this beer tastes like vomit already
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
