I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize