Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize
