do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
