Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
