does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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