exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
