I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
