I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
