my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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