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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
