let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
