I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
