omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
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