Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
