I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
