Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
